Salem's Diner: The Diner-iest Diner There Ever Was
Or, Where You Go To Eat Your Feelings For Breakfast
Hello friends.
Do you know how sometimes you start a thing, intend to do it regularly, and then life gets in the way? Well, that’s what’s happened to me over the last month or so. Nothing bad. Just a bunch of things all at the same time that distracted my attention from eating food and writing about it.
But, in the spirit of not getting dragged down into the muck, today’s a good day to get back on track because I felt like eating my feelings, and that’s just what I did. Sometimes you just gotta.
Why I’ve never been to Salem’s Diner on 18th Street in Homewood before today I’ll never know. But in search of a good, old-fashioned breakfast after a mind-clearing walk at the Birmingham Botanical Gardens, that’s where Ricky and I wound up.
Salem’s is a diner what ever was a true diner. When you come in the door, there’s a long, yellow-ish Formica counter with stools in front of the grill to your left and about four booths straight ahead. Sit where you fit. We started at the counter because the booths were full, and pretty soon, I had a cup of hot, black coffee in front of me. In the diner spirit, the sugar is in a proper glass sugar pourer and the milk is in a stainless steel pitcher with a lid. Is it whole or 2%? Cow or oat? Who cares? It’s a diner! Take it or leave it.
Pretty soon the group in the back booth left, our server quickly moved us to that table. “You’ll be more comfortable, Baby,” she said.
Salem’s is a place where they call you “Baby” and where everybody seems to have been born knowing everybody else. That’s probably because it’s been in business since 1978 and in Homewood since 2006. It’s a place where folks will come out from behind the grill and sit with you for a chat. It’s a place where they’ll hug your neck when you leave.
That’s what I needed today. And a big plate of eggs with all the fixins didn’t hurt my feelings either. I like mine sunny side up, but Ricky likes his scrambled “not too dry” or “wet.” He likes patty sausage; I prefer smoked. He’s grits. I’m hash browns. Often, we both get both!
As we dug into hot plates of greasy goodness, we noticed we were at the Mike Slive Booth. There’s a plaque and everything. If you don’t know, he’s the one who made the SEC the powerhouse it is today as its commissioner. And as you look around, you’ll see that just about every square inch of wall is covered with pictures and Alabama football memorabilia. That’s because Ed Salem, father of owner Wayne Salem, was a star Alabama football player in the late 1940s and was inducted into the Alabama Sports Hall of Fame in 2010.
But back to breakfast. Ricky best described it when he said, “They say you can never go home again, but this tastes like home.” It tastes like his Mawmaw’s cooking. He said the scrambled eggs were just right and tasted like good pork grease from the griddle. He also reported that the sausage was spicy in just the right way and that the grits were plenty salty.
My egg was perfectly overeasy and runny enough to drag pieces of the split, grilled sausage through the yella. The hash brown was crispy on the outside and even crispier on the edges but soft in the center. Everything a grated potato should be.
I do have to say that the biscuit was a little tough, but maybe it was an off day. Maybe whoever made the biscuits took out some frustration on the dough this morning. I know I would have kneaded it into a greasy spot on the counter. Who knows? And who am I to complain? I ain’t making biscuits every morning. And I didn’t turn it down either. I ate it all up with butter and jelly because even a not great biscuit is better than no biscuit at all.
Apparently Salem’s Diner is known for its Philly cheesesteak. Some late night host from somewhere ate it in 2007 and said it was the best anywhere, including Philadelphia! There was press. History was made.
They also have a robust menu of other sandwiches (including bologna), burgers, and hotdogs. If you want something reasonably health-conscious, they do have a few plates, lunches, and some salads. All basically what you’d expect from the diner-iest diner this side of Vulcan.
If you want a soy latte and avocado toast, Salem’s is not the place to go. But if you want a seriously good diner breakfast, this is your place. Sit at the Mike Slive table. Sop up syrup with a biscuit. And enjoy it for what it is because what it is is just plain good.
And get a hug from the waitress on the way out the door.
Here’s how we rated Salem’s Diner on a scale of 1-5 fried eggs 🍳:
Atmosphere: 🍳🍳🍳🍳🍳
Food: 🍳🍳🍳🍳🍳
Drinks: N/A because no alcoholic drinks are served
Service: 🍳🍳🍳🍳🍳
Bathrooms: 🍳🍳🍳
(For those of you who remember Bogue’s, Joyce is at Salem’s now! I was so happy to see her!)
And here’s a few more pictures just because…
